


Covid Crimes

by sirenslament



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Corona - Freeform, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Group chat, How Do I Tag, Light hearted sometimes and less others. Can’t decide how I wanna tag yet, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Quarantine, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, i have not written fanfiction in so long??, i write this all at strange hours, no beta we die like men, nsfw mention cause Remus, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25420639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirenslament/pseuds/sirenslament
Summary: The side are friends from school who do to the virus, had to leave campus and go there separate ways for quarantine. Shenanigans over text ensue.aka its 4am, I usually write very flowery descriptive things or angsty things. I've wanted practice dialogue, Im talking in a lot group chats cause corona and I've been reading a lot of group text fics. I don't know how to fanfic on AO3.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	1. Lemons and Chaos Gods

**Author's Note:**

> Spider Boy- Virgil  
> Frog Dad- Patton  
> Prince Charming- Roman  
> The Medusa- Janus  
> Octonauts - Remus  
> Logan - Logan

Group Chat Started by Prince Charming 

Prince Charming adds Frog Dad,Logan,Octonauts,The Medusa ,Spider Boy

Prince Charming renames the chat

“COVID CRIMES”

  
  


{ Several People are typing}

Prince Charming: Look if I have to spend another minute listening to Remus rant about the best way to skin a lemon,, Im gonna loose my mind

The Medusa: and, thats our problem because?

Prince Charming: If I have to suffer, you have to suffer with me 

Spider Boy: Wait, a lemon?

Octonauts: Not that kind of  _ lemon _ , get your mind our of the gutter virgeypoo

Frog Dad: Hi everyone, I miss you and hope you are all staying safe! Also isn’t there only one kind of lemon, like the fruit? 

The Medusa: Don’t forget the lemon stealing whores

Frog Dad: Now Janus, its not nice to call people names. Maybe the people stealing them are stealing them for a reason?

Prince Charming: Oh Pat

Spider Boy: Oh Gosh 

Prince Charming: Pat, its a meme. 

Octonauts: there’s also lemons, the old term in fanfiction. Featuring steamy scenes between everyone's favorite pairings. Maybe someone has even wrote them about us

Logan: Impossible, as we are not famous. 

Frog Dad: The only people that could write that would have to know us

Spider Boy: oh no

Octonauts: 👀 

Spider Boy:  **NOPE YOU’RE DONE**

Spider Boy kicks Octonauts out of the chat

Octonauts rejoins

Octonauts: you think you can kill me bitch? I can’t die. 

Spider Boy: Yes, I can?

Spider Boy kicks Octonauts out of the chat

Octonauts rejoins

Octonauts: yes and, Virgey, Yes and

Prince Charming:...I’ve tried it doesn’t work

Spider Boy kicks Octonauts out of the chat

Octonauts rejoins

The Medusa: Oh I’m _ sure _ it’ll have a different result this time Virgil

Spider Boy kicks Octonauts out of the chat

Octonauts rejoins

Octonauts: like I said. God Fears Me. 

Frog Dad: Now Virgil, play nice 

Spider Boy:... no

Frog Dad: :((

Logan leaves the chat

Spider Boy adds Logan to the chat

Spider Boy: If Im stuck in this hell so are you

Frog Dad: :(

Spider Boy: Sorry Pat

Logan: Then can you please keep it down? I’m trying to read

Prince Charming: turn off notifications ?

Logan: … Ah. I was unaware my phone had that function

Octonauts: Jeez do you ever get any texts Logang

Prince Charming: Hey! Nicknames are my thing!

Logan: In important scenarios, I receive texts from you all. 

Octonauts changes Logans name to Logang

Logang: why? 

Octonauts:  [ https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/ajp8mv/i_peeled_a_lemon/ ](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/ajp8mv/i_peeled_a_lemon/)

Spider Boy: WHY

Octonauts:  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Octonauts: I have the blood of a chaos god running through my veins. 

Logang changes name back to Logan

Logan: Remus, how many Monsters have you had today? 

Octonauts: nine

Logan:...

Octonauts: and an expresso shot

Logan: ah. That explains is

Spider Boy: Jeez Re

Frog Dad: Remus!! Thats not safe!!

Octonauts: I do not fear Death 

Prince Charming:... maybe, just maybe I should take him to the hospital. 

Octonauts: GOD IS DEAD AND I KILLED HIM

The Medusa: okay,Nietzsche.

Octonauts: I am Tzeentch!

The Medusa: Nah he’s fine. This is typical.

Spider Boy:.. maybe you should take him to the hospital 

Logan: Falsehood, if you are concerned I’d call a hotline specializing in caffeine related issues. As long as he did not “chug” them according to my research it should be fine.

  
  


Prince Charming: define, chug

Spider Boy: oh my god

Prince Charming: How fast is a chug? like back to back just. In one sitting. 

{Several People are typing}

Frog Dad: REMUS

The Medusa: Hospital

Logan: Yes, in that case. I would do so. He likely is fine, but that is a lot of caffeine and im no doctor, while I pride myself on my knowledge, if you are concerned I’d go. 

Spider Boy: WEAR A MASK AND TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL

Frog Dad: Better to be safe then sorry, and yes!! Wear a mask. 

Prince Charming: I’ll get my keys.

{ Prince Charming goes offline}

Frog Dad: Stay safe 

Octonauts: I WILL BECOME THE NEXT EMPEROR 

Spider Boy: Heretic 

Octoauts: and I wouldn’t have it any other way

Spider Boy: I can vibe

Octonauts: I wonder if my heart will explode at the rate its beating. Oh! Did you know you can literally die from a broken hefsihneocgamwlox

{ Octonauts is offline}

Frog Dad: Stay safe you two!


	2. Peach Pie and Spite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which more shenanigans ensue, and maybe hints at more then just comedy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus returns from the hospital, Patton bakes too many things, and Janus is fine.

2:54am, 

Prince Charming: He’s fine. 

Octonauts: They said I shouldn’t drink that much caffeine while on a stimulant medication 

Prince Charming: No dip Sherlock

Spiderboy: what the fuck Remus

Octonauts: Are you really that surprised?

Prince Charming: Are you really that surprised?

Octonauts: Jinx! You owe me a soda

Prince Charming: what did the doctor _just say_

Octonauts: why do you think that would stop me?

Frog Dad: You shouldn’t drink that much caffeine in general,kiddo.

Frog Dad: and Virgil, lets use nicer words okay?

Spider Boy: Absolutely not 

Octonauts: Im fueled by caffeine and spite

Spider Boy: Don’t steal my mo dude

Octonauts: watch me

Spider Boy: Also, Patton why are you up?

Frog Dad: I wanted to make sure Remus was okay ! I was worried!

Prince Charming: Pat, its 3am

Frog Dad: and? Now all of you kiddos need to sleep

Prince Charming: Im never gonna sleep with Remus around, we share a room at home

Octonauts: Bunk Beds!

Prince Charming: LAST NIGHT YOU POURED WATER ON ME

Octonauts: I was bored??

Spider Boy: Thank God I am an only child

Frog Dad: Kids, I am gonna count to three

Prince Charming: Pat, you are literally the same age as us

Frog Dad: One

Spider Boy: fuck

Frog Dad: Two

Octonauts: shit

Frog Dad: Three

Prince Charming: Okay! Fine we GET IT. Logging off. 

Spider Boy: night

Octonauts: Its morning actually

Spider Boy: I will strangle you

Octonauts: Kinky

Frog Dad:VIRGIL, NO DEATH THREATS. BED BOTH OF YOU

Octonauts: finee buzz kill.

Spider Boy: Okay, okay 

7:30 am

Logan: Good Morning all, I just got a notification classes will be moved online the rest of the semester and thought I’d let you know. 

10 am

The Medusa: thats unfortunate 

Logan: I agree, I will miss my hands on bio lab

Logan: How are you doing,Janus?

The Medusa:I am perfectly _fine,_ Logan.

Logan: Would you like to speak about it, I know emotions are more the others area, but it seems we are the only ones who went to sleep at a reasonable hour so I doubt they will be up soon

The Medusa: No

Logan: Understandable have a nice day.

11:45am

Spider Boy: … Logan was that a meme

Prince Charming: Oh my gosh, Annabelle Cane It was.

Spider Boy: … Annabelle Cane?

Prince Charming: Horror Podcast Remus and I have been listening too

Prince Charming: _The Magnus Archives_

Spider Boy: Cool cool cool. See you in two weeks when I’m caught up.

Octonauts: I am an Elias simp

Prince Charming kicks Octonauts from the chat

Octonauts rejoins the chat

Prince Charming: I hate you so much

The Medusa: That aside. All of you, align your sleep schedules better. It will make you feel better having a routine in quarantine 

Spider Boy: Make me

{Patton sends an image of a batch of cookies fresh out of the oven}

Frog Dad: Good Morning everyone! I spent this morning baking cookies and I am about to put in the Banana Bread. I also have two Peach Pies cooling!

Prince Charming: JEALOUS

Spider Boy: Pat, are you okay?

Frog Dad: No


	3. Tarot Cards and True Crime

3:44am

Spider Boy: My tarot cards called me a little bitch again

Logan: Cards do not have the capacity to speak, Virgil

Spider Boy: We both know that’s not what I mean

Spider Boy: wait why are you up

Logan:...

Spider Boy: you are watching more unsolved crime videos again aren’t you

Logan: Perhaps

Spider Boy: and your the one to always talk about a good sleep schedule

Spider Boy: Wanna stream it together?

Logan: I do not see why not

Octonauts: count me in! 

Spider Boy: I DIDN’T ASK YOU

Octonauts: I’m coming anyway

Logan: Virgil, consider this: Remus likely knows quite good ones based on his interest in the “ guts and gore” of the horror genre 

Spider Boy:.. thats true

Spider Boy: fine you can come

Octonauts: I would have anyway

Spider Boy: whatever

{ Logan sends a streaming link} 

{ Spider Boy,Octonauts and The Medusa join Logans streaming room}

Spider Boy:... how long have you been up

The Medusa: “ My tarot cards called me a little bitch again” 

Spider Boy: I hate you

9am 

Frog Dad: Good morning!! Goodness you all are up late. You must attempt to keep proper sleep schedules everyone!!!

10:30 am

Prince Charming: YOU WATCHED TRUE CRIME WITHOUT ME. REMUS YOU SHOULD HAVE WOKE ME UP

Octonauts: okay, now you want me to wake you up

Prince Charming: wait no. I’ve made a mistake. 

Octonauts: too late

Prince Charming: fuck

11am

{Patton sends a picture of freshly made lemon macaroons on a tray fresh out of the oven} 

Octonauts:.. Lemons?

Prince Charming: not again

Octonauts:  [ https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/ajp8mv/i_peeled_a_lemon/ ](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/ajp8mv/i_peeled_a_lemon/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! you guys have given so much love to my silly little fic! thank you all so much!!


	4. Vampires and Key Lime Pies

2pm

{Spider Boy changes name to Anxious Shadow Demon }

Frog Dad: You aren’t a demon Virgil!

Anxious Shadow Demon: Its for Halloween,pat

Logan: Its September. 

Anxious Shadow Demon: And?

Logan: Halloween is in October?

Anxious Shadow Demon: And??

Logan: Why do I even bother

Frog Dad: Whats the name referencing then kiddo?

Anxious Shadow Demon: _Vampire the Masquerade_ , I want to play a Lasombra. 

The Medusa: I’d play as a Setite 

The Medusa: ** Member of the Ministry 

Anxious Shadow Demon: OF COURSE YOU WOULD

Prince Charming:I, of course would play a Toreador. Janus, you are now my bitter rival

Frog Dad: I have no idea what any of this means but I support you all!!!

The Medusa: Not that you’d win, but i’m flattered you think my character would even acknowledge yours as a rival. 

Octonauts: NOSFERATU 

Logan: For once, I am unfamiliar as well. I recognize some of the names reference classic vampires, but I am unfamiliar with this “ _Vampire the Masquerade_ ” 

Prince Charming: BLASHMEY 

Frog Dad: Janus play nice :( 

Anxious Shadow Demon: Its a TTRPG, like DND dude. They have video games as well.

Logan: Ah, I see. Excuse me for a bit

{ Logan is Offline} 

The Medusa: Have you played _Shadows of New York_ yet Virgil?

Anxious Shadow Demon: ITS OUT?!

The Medusa: Shall we stream it as a group, do character voices for the characters?

Prince Charming: But of course!!

Anxious Shadow Demon: and you can get introduced to the world, Pat

Frog Dad: if we wait for Logan!!

The Medusa: Fair enough

10pm 

{ Logan is online}

Logan: I see, I enjoy the rules and the lore I will start crafting a virtual “chronicle” for this group.

Anxious Shadow Demon: !!!

Anxious Shadow Demon:... wait did you just read the entire rule book

Logan: I’ve skimmed the extra books as well

Prince Charming: Holy Shit dude

Logan: for optimal enjoyment, It felt quite necessary to do some light research 

Frog Dad: Was that a vampire pun??

Logan: you know it wasn’t

Frog Dad: :( 

Logan: and yes, I’ll join in on your “ Game Bang”

Anxious Shadow Demon: oh my god. Who messed with teach’s cards.

The Medusa: Remus. Probably.

Octonaughts: oo yeah I forgot about that one

Prince Charming: When did you find time to do this??? 

Logan: We have not seen eachother in person in months??

Octonaughts: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Logan: Thats not an answer. 

Octonaughts: Its the one you are getting 

The Medusa: Tell me you didn’t break social distancing rules

Octonaughts: Even I wouldn’t do that?? I’m chaotic not stupid

Prince Charming: Debatable 

The Medusa: Debatable 

Anxious Shadow Demon: Debatable

Octonaughts: [ https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/6l0wic/this_peeled_lime/ ](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/6l0wic/this_peeled_lime/)

Anxious Shadow Demon: WHY is it a LIME this TIME

Octonaughts: gotta mix things up

The Medusa: Remus sent it why did you click it?

Anxious Shadow Demon: Because I have no sense of self preservation ?

Frog Dad: Whats going on? Let me scroll up

Frog Dad: Remus! You aren’t stupid hun!!

Frog Dad: VIRGIL 

Anxious Shadow Demon: What its true? 

Frog Dad: I will physically fight you

Logan: that would be unwise to attempt as you’d have to be six feet apart.

Frog Dad: You underestimate me Logan. Also still catching up, let me click on that link one sec.

Anxious Shadow Demon: PAT NO

Frog Dad: is that a Lime?

Frog Dad: Lime

Frog Dad: Key Lime

Frog Dad: WAIT MY PIE

{ Frog Dad is Offline} 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vampire the Masquerade is fun. Updates on this are gonna be kinda whenever. I'm vibing. I do have some ideas though. They'd definitely run an anarch chronicle.


End file.
